letters

dear Marie,

I have been preparing this letter ever since your engagement announcement. On the eve of your wedding i as your mother decided to share with you what i believe will strenghten your marriage. The mistakes i made and observations of other wives gives you valuable insight to avoid mistakes and navigate successfully the trials and tribulations you will share with your husband.

We know how men are-and you must do everything possible to keep him happy and make sure he doesn't stray. Don't ever talk about about your past boyfriends especially Phil- i have talked to him recently and he has agreed to never mention you again regarding "that" party. I STRONGLY SUGGEST you never weaken even in the most intimate moments of confidentiality anything about

your past abortions. Never ever mention your uncle and his triple manslaughter conviction.
If you feel right about discussing your past "experimental" lesbian encounters it might even make him feel more secure about his own sexuality and the other ladies agree. About your fathers alcoholism--we wont be able to hide it, so slip this one in gently. But dont and i repeat
dont ever tell him your brother sells time-shares!!!!