the shield and spear

there was a man in the Chinese village trying to sell a spear and shield, extolling the virtues of his wares he stated the shield was impenetrable to any sword or spear. the spear he said could penetrate any shield in china. someone asked what would happen if he threw his spear at his own shield? embarrassed he left as people said these two things could never co-exist.

veterans pages

place any number followed by st or rd, for example 334th or 221st (you will develop a knack for it) and you will find associations from ww2-korea-vietnam, other countries have similar search results. i have read at least 300 of them, some have limited reading others have 850 pages.
but most of them have the most fascinating stories of men (and women) at war that bring out the best and worst of humans during those trying times. im going to ramble off a few i remember.

this guy saves a driver from a car wreck in d.c.,pulls him out saving his life. it was snowing heavily. the family tracks him down to thank him. 6 years later he is on a death march from mooseburg germany in the snow-the germans have made the prisoners march up to 500 miles
to keep them out of the hands of the advancing russians. falling out is not an option as guard dogs
and angry soldiers would most likely kill them. he sees a fellow soldier drop but since he has the energy he rolls him over to pick him up and carry him--hey, how many times do i have to save you in the snow? it was the same guy from the car wreck!

a jewish lady escapes a prison camp and almost dies crossing the alps -she only survived by not sleeping as she would have frozen to death. on the verge of giving up she hears the famous sheep trumpet of swiss fame around some rocks and as she comes out she scares the young man as her condition is most deplorable. the boy said there was a yeti out there! his family saves her and nurses her back to health. she manages to escape to the u.s. and although has very litlle wages
sends food parcels through switzerland despite the criticism of her peers who point out they will never reach their destination during the war. every week she sent the parcels for a total of 20% of her earnings. after the war she is asked to be a tour guide for europe tours in 1947 as she speaks various languages and is familiar with the area. she takes a break to look for her saviours
in austria and finds the family with 30 others living in a bombed out bldg. everyone else in that small canton starved to death- the swiss post was able to deliver all packages secretly, we only survived because of the parcels. thank god she did not cave in to the do-gooders- oh honey why are you wasting your money on them.

a soldier is the first one in an indian file of a squad walking down a street in france on recon-he trips on his shoelace as a hidden machine gun opens up- falling down the other soldiers are killed.

in italy 7 soldiers are at a table with wine and dinner- a shell from nowhere comes thru the window -after the explosion one guy is sitting alone on a chair no table no 6 guys no house
just the one guy with a fork in his hand.

a german trooper comes back home minus one leg. his father is also missing a leg from ww1
he asks where-thats the same town i lost my leg! what part? a church, in the cemetary behind it.
same town same church same cemetary-father and son lost a leg except in different wars.

brittish flyer strafes truck and armor convoy in north africa repeatedly. when landing 2 ambulances and crew wagons chase him till he stops-whats up? why are you chasing me?
the plane had over 300 hits and looked like a sieve the majority just back of the cockpit,
the pilot was unhurt and totally unaware.

coming thru the paddies in vietnam upon a village the lead soldier steps on a trap wire, the noose
closing on his ankle and pulling him up in the air upside down, and now here comes a mortar shell with the fins still attached straight down from the tree as a planned booby trap but he catches it and is dangling in mid-air with a mortar shell in his hand.
another one-soldiers are moving thru trees and a mortar shell comes down right on top of them but is stuck in the fork of a tree 2 feet above them.

the first landing of american troops in north africa include 2 coca-cola bottling plants!

the red cross hid escape tools in marked red cross parcels for p.ow.s. including monopoly games with hidden silk escape maps.

this one from russia--as german troops move on a russian cannon battery-all the crews are dead
but in original positions frozen in time no blood no damage nothing damaged, they are sitting with shells in hand ready for loading but dead around 100 of them-the troops are told it is a secret weapon that killed them and not gas and to not discuss it--more on secret weapons later.
i have shown this site to experts of the field and they say it was gas-dont think so -hitler and everyone else had it and were waiting for the first use to unleash all they had.

good luck-bad luck

a chinese farmers son was admonished because their only horse bolted and ran away, being the

lively hood of the farm the neighbors said it was bad luck-bad luck has nothing to do with it he answered, but they insisted it was bad luck. the next day the horse came back with a herd he found on the plains. now they were the richest farmers all around with 27 horses-oh thats good luck they said, its not good luck it just happened he stated-good luck/ bad luck its all the same to me. the next day the son broke his leg in all fall while training the horses. oh thats bad luck they started in again. the day after, a war lord took all abled bodied men for a battle looming on the horizon except the son with the bad leg.-oh thats good luck. well the story goes on with the see-saw of good-bad luck untill you get the point---good luck.

critics

An old man, a boy and a donkey, were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, 'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.' So they then decided they'd both walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well... ...Kiss your ass goodbye!

letters

dear Marie,

I have been preparing this letter ever since your engagement announcement. On the eve of your wedding i as your mother decided to share with you what i believe will strenghten your marriage. The mistakes i made and observations of other wives gives you valuable insight to avoid mistakes and navigate successfully the trials and tribulations you will share with your husband.

We know how men are-and you must do everything possible to keep him happy and make sure he doesn't stray. Don't ever talk about about your past boyfriends especially Phil- i have talked to him recently and he has agreed to never mention you again regarding "that" party. I STRONGLY SUGGEST you never weaken even in the most intimate moments of confidentiality anything about

your past abortions. Never ever mention your uncle and his triple manslaughter conviction.
If you feel right about discussing your past "experimental" lesbian encounters it might even make him feel more secure about his own sexuality and the other ladies agree. About your fathers alcoholism--we wont be able to hide it, so slip this one in gently. But dont and i repeat
dont ever tell him your brother sells time-shares!!!!

letters

A Parental Nightmare...
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for cancer so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, Chad P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

The silly old man

That's what people called him as he fed fish to the seagulls, a routine the old "codger" made for himself

to amble about on the beach, the birds eagerly awaiting their meal. Usually the activity is frowned upon in ocean resorts as the flock of birds mess up the area. As you get older there might or might not be a reason why you do things.

The old man was Eddie Rickenbacker, the top scoring U.S. pilot ace in world war 1, highly decorated and an aviation pioneer, race car driver, president of the now defunct eastern airlines among many other notable achievements. The man had escaped death many times including the most unbelievable injuries sustained during a dc3 crash.

During WW2 President Roosevelt called him to the white house for a secret mission. MacArthur (another WWI hero) had become a rogue element and they had lost control over him as he acted now on his own

disobeying all orders regarding the pacific theater.

This secret mission is still classified but recently the leaks have begun. No way was anyone to know how this spat could be made public during the war, the morale in the U.S. concerning a general like Mac Arthur was of utmost importance.

Apparently MacArthur looked up to Eddie only- he was his idol. MacArthur was also a highly decorated WWI1 soldier. No records could ever exist demonstrating the communications going back and forth regarding his loose cannon condition and you can read between the lines here

if you know what i mean. So they enlist Eddie and a selected crew for a B-17 flight to get him to

the pacific secretly-no small feat considering the distances involved. He would put MacArthur

in his place. Much has been written on why they ran out of fuel and ditched in the ocean, but by most accounts an unskilled navigator. The injured survivors ran out of food and water during the first week of their 24 days in a raft, the crate of oranges that floated up from the sinking plane made conditions worse

as the gastric juices made them hungrier. One of the crew died and you would have to read the story of this ordeal to understand the miracle of a seagull landing on eddies head. Besides the meal they used the entrails to fish more food. This was the third time in his life newspapers had declared

him dead ! Only because of his wife's insistence was the search extended and a small float plane

towards the very end found them in Japanese held waters. The pilot won an award as he put the most injured in the confined space and tied the rest to the wings and drove on the waves for 40 miles where they met up with a navy ship.

So, many people would scoff at the old man feeding seagulls unaware of why some people do the things they do- he would say thank you to every bird he fed still wearing the cap he wore during his 24 days at sea.